Day 1. I find myself in the woods, the sun is shining through the trees, a rabbit hops past and a deer, its like a scene from Bambi. This isn’t so bad really, its just like going camping.
Oh my god what the hell is that? Probably, someone else taking a walk in the woods, drunk. I need to chop this tree down and harvest some lumber supplies so I can get crafting. I have no axe. While I’m trying to punch the tree down the drunk trail walker, grabs me from behind. She smells awful. “Er, hey, I’m kinda busy right now but we could take a swim after you sober up, several swims maybe. OW No TEETH!” She bites me in the neck and I die. Oops.
Day 2. So now I’m in a place that looks so toxic Chernobyl said “Fuck this, I’m out” and left. Really need to craft an axe still. I creep around, I wont make the same mistake as before, there are zombies here. Not drunks. Zombies. I really need a drink. I’m literally dying of thirst now and my back is sore from all this crouching.
Screw it I’m going to drink from this pond. Okay water problem solved, an icon of a butt pooping delicately breaks the news to me I have gastrointestinal poisoning and I am pooping my pants. I wonder if the zombies can smell me. Moot point, I am stung by a giant wasp and die.
Day 3. After a camp-fire breakfast of boiled eggs I make my way back to my corpse to retrieve my backpack. I wonder if it will still be there. I am stung by the same giant wasp and die.
Day 4. Screw the backpack, too dangerous. I go the opposite direction find a bunch of supplies in a house. I am bitten by a zombie dog and die.
Day 5. I find a pickaxe. We are in business. I find a building, I think its some sort of industrial building, I pickaxe my way into a boarded up room as night falls.
Jesus, those zombies are fast at night. They are really smashing the place up. I barricade the doorways with bricks. Lets see those zombies get through that. My pick axe breaks. I’ll just punch my way out.
Day 6. Much punching.
Day 7. Finally punch my way out of the stone bunker I built as dawn breaks on the 7th day. Victory!
A fat zombie is on the stairs, bitch slaps me in the face and I die.
Day 8. Change difficulty to easy and restart.
Day 14. …..